Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
is that a dick in a sweater?
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