he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
