Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
