You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize