I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
