Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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