I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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