i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
