I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
