dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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