Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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