she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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