Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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