More tranny stories later!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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