so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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