Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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