My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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