But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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