I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize