Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
