Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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