shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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