Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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