Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize