i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
