Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Boobs speak an international language.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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