You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
