At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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