would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize