i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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