You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
