you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
