new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
