i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
