you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
