6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize