Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She bit a glass in half.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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