The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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