Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
