So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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