Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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