TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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