are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
