I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize