I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize