margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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