dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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