'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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