I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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