Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
