I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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