What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
