how can u be prego again
True but thats because hes a fetus.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize