I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
