Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
