and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
