Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
