Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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