Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
