We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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