I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
