I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize