We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
