Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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