I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
