Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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