Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
