I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
